Sometimes There are Dreams of Creatures in the Night When Baseball Season Ends

Like many, I am lulling my way through a baseball season withdrawal.  Football is nice; I like football, but it doesn't feed my need for sports every single day (does that sound like I have an obsessive personality? I might in some things, but I swear I only fold my socks in one direction).  My daily 2nd choice has been hockey; the sport's collectively decided to go into a coma.  If a season is missed twice in one decade, will anyone remember you exist?  I will now have to turn to basketball, though for some reason, I enjoy reading about it more than watching it....except for playoff basketball.

I am inoculated against the European version of football because in my special home fraternity, if I don't root for Real Madrid, I will be excommunicated.   I should be delving into this because I do play this sport and need to learn more about tactics, so that every cornerkick doesn't have the potential to end with someone flying facefirst into a goalpost.

One good thing about the offseason is that it allows me to do activities which I would consider an anathema to my normally busy (meaning television and ticket oriented) schedule, such as finally re-organizing my collection for the 20th time in 20 years.  I do not like the stacks of cards that I have accumulated and my binders are full and my bookshelfs are full of binders and there's chaos everywhere.

To enlist in the destruction of the chaos, I've found two legendary figures to help cut things down to size.  The good news is that they both have axes.  I've also discovered yet another quest, trying to get at least one card from any of the mini sets from an Allen & Ginter release.  This will not be an easy undertaking....anyone ever seen a World's Saltiest Sailor card?

These are from the Creatures of Legend, Myth, and Joy set from 2010 (not to be confused with the Creatures of Legend, Myth, and Terror set from the previous year.)  These apparently were inserted at the rate of approximately 2 per case.

Paul Bunyan would be useful for the large-scale culling needed for my collection.  Large swaths of cards would fall before his mighty axe.  The only caveat is that he's taller than most roofs and would have trouble bending over so far.  His mighty blue ox, Babe, would haul them all away, never to be thought of again.  To feed him, I would need how to learn to make flapjacks the size of my street.

I'm more worried if Jack from Jack and the Beanstalk comes calling to help. Out of desperation, he might take my only cow and my magic harp.  His cutting would be more focused, especially if I attach my collection to a sky-reaching plant.  Commons from 2010-2012, you're first up for planting.

Anyone else feel off during this offseason?